I will choose Joy!

I have just finished putting the hand made macaroni and cheese in the oven.  I say home made because there are some who believe if it comes from a box and and it is made at home then it is of course...Home made.  My macaroni and cheese was made with my hands with my ingredients that I have at home... I am thankful.  As I put the casserole in the oven on warm until Daddy gets home, I asked my kids to help me with the dishes.   I didn't ask them to wash, dry and put away the dishes or wipe the counters down and wipe the spatter off the walls and the mixer and the floor from baking and icing 4 dozen cupcakes.  I asked my oldest boy to unload the dishwasher and his sister to put away the dry dishes in the sink and strainer.   It is amazing to me how many dishes can accumulate when one is baking.  I can feel the wrinkles in my fingers from the dishes I have already done.  The three times I have already washed the mixer bowls and beaters, and washing the breakfast dishes by hand because the dishwasher was full. Needless to say they did not do the jobs that were asked of them without telling me all of the chores they have completed in the last 24 hours which I probably could have fit into my last 5 minutes of writing...   So I am a tired momma today.  Out the door for work after a heart to heart with a dear friend, home again at lunchtime but rarely is it ever lunch for a mom even when the house is empty but her and two dogs.   I volunteered my baking services for our local business women's group tonight.  We are hosting it at the clinic I work.  I love to bake and so many other hobbies I love to do.  With every child that I gave birth to it seems like I have been birthed anew but at the same time there is a piece or pieces that are taken away.   I rarely have time for the creativity that soothes my soul and hours of reading that stirs my mind.  I am reading "Not so Fast, Learn to slow down" when I am in the bathroom as some days it is the only retreat in our most days chaotic home.  But today I am seeing the dishes and my children and the joy in the things I do.  It is not a joy that is there.  It is joy that is determined in my heart.  There is joy in dishes because it means I have children who have used them.  There is joy in home made mac and cheese.  It gives them pleasure to make something they love.   There is joy in telling them that they have to do the dishes for the 5th time today, because I am their mom and I am here to tell them.  I get to teach them, love them, care for them, discipline them and catch their tears.  Today the joy that I choose to feel has caught some of my own.  Like a father who loves us, wants the best for us and His delight and joy over us goes way beyond what we could ever do to please him.  I am the the mother the reflection of that relationship to my children.  I will choose joy.